THAILAND SINGAPORE DAY 10: Phuket, Other Fun Words, and Fun Things To Do In A Gas Station Bathroom

There are funny animal names.

There are funny people names.

There are funny place names.

Blue footed booby.

Dick.

Today, we are driving to Phuket.

Early breakfast and we hit the road for our three hour road trip.  It’s early on a Saturday so traffic is pretty light.  An hour or so in, we stop the absolutely cutest little roadside coffee stand run by the absolutely cutest little Thai woman and are treated to some very yummy iced caffeine. 

(click on the picture to view the full size image)

A little further on, we stop at a gas station to use the facilities.  After she’s done, Mandy runs back to the car demanding the camera then running back in.  I can’t imagine why.  This is why:

Of course I understand the warning about graffiti and smoking.  Standard enough stuff.  But keeping in mind that there are only toilets in this restroom (the sinks are outside), enough people have washed their feet or taken a bath in the hopper that they needed have signs professionally printed and installed.   Possibly the most ludicrous thing we have ever seen.

Giggling the rest of the way, we make it into Old Phuket Town.  We find parking among the tight streets of the colonial village.  It’s what I picture Cuba would be like on a good day 40 or 50 years ago.  Colorful buildings, great vibe and mix of international food offerings.  We wander and go as far as the famous Blue Elephant Cooking School, the Sino-Portuguese architecture blending Chinese practicality with European decorative elements like arched windows and neoclassical columns.

An influencer’s dream location, this place is photo ready.  From the Chinese temple…

To the Aungku Café…

To the street art.

It’s Thai hot, meaning 90F, 1000% humidity and zero breeze, so we duck into the Dibuk Restaurant for lunch.  This respected Thai French joint was fusion well before fusion was a thing and has everything from foie gras to sticky rice on offer in a very Hemmingway-in-Key-West atmosphere.  In other words, just our kinda place.  Beer please!

Mandy has a special treat in mind for me after lunch, and takes me to Torry’s for their handcrafted, Thai inspired frozen treats.  We pick coconut and mixed berry with ginger, both decidedly light on the sweetener, opting for tangy and refreshing instead.  Well done in this latitude.

We picked a place at Phuket Beach because it was only 10 miles from Old Town.  We figured we’d just pop back for dinner a night or two.  Until we did the drive.  45 full minutes.  Stoplights with timers, some a full 3 minutes long.  Ugg.  But when we get to the hotel, ahhhhhh. 

The Le Meridien Phuket Beach is a 5-Star 40 acre beachfront property.  The minute we walked in, the treatment was over the top.  The desk clerks thanked us profusely, then upgraded us to a beachfront suite.  The manager of the resort came by to thank us for staying with them.  Our room wasn’t ready, so we grabbed a beer at the beach bar.  Not too long after, a host got us and showed us to our room where we were greeted by the birthday bunnies.

Changed, we went for a swim in the ocean and hung by the pool for a bit.  When we returned to the room, we found still more welcome greetings: a full bottle of champaign on ice, a bucket of local Thai craft beer (I took to calling it Thai-P-A), a fruit plate, a dish of local chocolates, a birthday cake and a full box of candles.  Ok, so they REALLY know how to make their guests feel special 😊 POP!

Showered and changed we head into town for dinner and exploring.  At these temperatures, you go through clothes fast, so the first stop is the nearest laundry.  Always an adventure!

Then it’s on to Malin Plaza for the night market.  We pick some dishes from the vendors, then get a table at Nicky’s Bar, smack in the middle of the market, and order some beers.  Nice setup Nick!

After eating we do the Patong Beach Walking Street, past the loud bars, bright shops and big hotels.  It’s been a long day, so hour long foot massages all around to help us wind down.

THAILAND SINGAPORE DAY 9: On The Andaman Sea

It’s a relaxed breakfast at the open air resort restaurant by the pond.  At 9 our driver meets us out front, a very kind middle aged gentleman, who apologizes for lack of English language skills.  We apologize back… we’re at his home, it’s up to us to learn the local language.  He drives us to the park at Noppharat Beach, the far other end of Ao Nang.  We get there just in time for a flash downpour.  The rain only lasts a few minutes, and we have some fun mugging in the back of the tuk-tuk while we wait. 

We always try to do a day on the water during our trips, and I’m always fascinated by the evolution of the purpose built boats each place has to offer.  Fancy speedboats were plentiful and affordable to charter, but that didn’t feel like the spirit of this place.  Today we’re getting more intimate with the longtail boats we sampled yesterday.  As soon as the rain clears up, our driver introduces us to our captain for the day, who we think is named Fang.  Fang walks us the few hundred meters to his waiting longtail boat on the bay side of the beach where dozens of longtail boats and speedboats await their daily charters.  Fang speaks exactly zero English (again, not a requirement for us) so we spark up Translate again and he lays out our 4 hour private trip for today. 

Fang is a very different type of captain than the two we had yesterday.  He loads us and our gear without rush, then pulls out of the tight birth with no drama or bumping.  Once we clear the inlet, he speeds along carefully, avoiding  the waves and providing a very pleasant ride.  I can tell right away he’s a pro and Mandy relaxes accordingly to enjoy the trip.

Our first stop is the tiny, protected cove on the back side of Hog Island.  We go through the narrow pass that opens into a little circle of bright emerald water surrounded by tall limestone cliff walls.  Fang navigates deftly avoiding the other longtails by mere inches.

Next stop is the beach at Hog Island, where we’re dropped off at the end a long floating dock.  We drop our bags on the pure white sand, grab our masks and set to snorkeling in the warm, warm sea.  It’s a very, very relaxing hour.

Next stop is Pak Ka Island, home to better snorkeling (or so we’re told through hand gestures, arm waving and Translate.)  Unfortunately the cove is coated in a film of gooey plankton, a naturally occurring phenomenon that’s very nutritious for the sea life, but not necessarily what I want to be peeling off me for the next few hours.  We pass on the dive and move on.

Last stop of the trip is Phak Bia Island.  Landed on the very rocky beach, we once again thank the gods of cheap Amazon water shoes for saving our feet.  (Pro tip: always, always bring water shoes on vacation!  You will never regret having them along)  We hop out and find the small sand beach.  Just 10 meters off the shoreline is this island’s most photogenic feature, a tall mushroom of a rock made of rough, craggy limestone.  We understand from seeing icebergs in Iceland what’s happening here.  Over time, maybe centuries, maybe longer, the rising tides have eroded the base of this rock until it has the silhouette of a weeping willow tree.  The base is live coral, sea live attaching itself during the higher tides.  Eventually, maybe centuries, maybe longer, the erosion will win and the top heavy rock will tumble and the process will restart.  Back to the boat, Fang hand drags the heavy sloop closer to shore by repeatedly throwing the anchor and pulling on the rope.  Once he’s close enough, we board and are off.  Our picture perfect day is now being threatened by gathering clouds and it’s easy to spot the rain line on the open sea.  We watch other boats get swallowed into the deluge, but Fang’s navigation skills keep us (mostly) dry.

Our driver delivers us safely back at the hotel, where we have fallen into a nice rhythm of pool, nap, shower.  Dinner tonight is off the beaten path at Zara and again, we’re the only non-natives here.  The owner / waiter is an affable guy who is quick with a joke and makes us feel right at home while he talks us through his grandmother’s Thai/Chinese recipes.  Service and food, both top of game.  Highly recommend.

We drive back to Ao Nang Beach and check out the night market briefly, but this one is kinda more-of-the-same so we don’t stay long.  We head back, but not before stopping for our nightly massage.  And yes, we know exactly how spoiled it sounds to use the term “nightly massage”.